Reports of the retirement of Professor of Psychoceramics Josiah Carberry are premature. In an exclusive BAM interview, the Simmons administration denies a rumor that the provost has pressured the world’s greatest traveler to surrender his professorship to make way for a new faculty member recruited under the Plan for Academic Enrichment.

Nevertheless, at a time of decreased federal funding for psychoceramic research, all this scholarly travel by the absent-bodied professor requires more ingenuity than ever. Never one to shy from a challenge, Professor Carberry may or may not be personally soliciting funds on campus this year. In a post that was mysteriously deleted from the BAM Facebook page, someone claiming to be Brown’s eclectic seeker of knowledge said he was considering quiet visits to campus during mid-April and mid-July.

Sources in the John Hay Library tell the BAM that Carberry’s fund-raising pots, pictured here, are being prepared for display during his 2012 visits. The entire Brown community is urged to give generously and give often. The world’s future may depend upon the professor’s timely understanding of all these cracked pots.

Photo by Frank Mullin